A Dream No More

My childhood dream was to become a CPA-Lawyer until my 2nd year of college.
In primary school, a lot of teachers hated me because I was so different from my sister. I think it’s because my sister was always the darling of the crowd and also the fact that I didn’t bring flowers to class. A lot of them told my mother how maldita I was. Duh, whatever! I know comparison was always there but in no way did it pull my weight down. Afterall, my sister ain’t as smart as me.

It has been a decade since I graduated elementary. I have this realization: the teacher who I hated the most turned out to be the best teacher I ever had!

During those times, I was always up for any challenge. I elected to study secondary in a state college --- where acceptance was like getting a camel pass through a needle. I got in despite my family’s protest to enroll me into some exclusive/private school or so to say. I was sooo discouraged when I heard their students who cannot tell the difference between run and ran. But I got accepted in my dream school! And there I was, competing with the rest of the 87 valedictorians and salutatorians all across the province.

I’m kinda disappointed though because MOST of my really smart classmates in high school choose to become nurses instead when they could have studied medicine or law. Not that I despise the profession. My mother is a nurse, you know. I feel sad as well because some married really young, some became emos, and some dropped out of college. I lost track of my classmates back then but thanks to friendster.

I moved to Cebu to see what’s up for me. First Lesson: things happen when you least expect it. Wala sad koy “homecourt” advantage.

It was first day of class (2nd year), first subject when I was kicked out of the of the class because I didn’t “BELONG” there. I later found out that THAT class was supposed to be EXCLUSIVE for the SMART ones. Talk about stereotyping --- the smartest ones get to have the most convenient schedule while we, the not-so-smart ones get to be on evening classes or the most unholy hours in the afternoon when temperature strikes boiling point.

Little did they know that a lot of those not-so-smart ones transferred to a rival school and tada! Topnotchers lang naman sa board. Look who’s kicking asses this time! Oh, didn’t I mention how “one of the smart ones’ looked when she found out that I got better grades than her? Priceless!

It was tough surviving the entire semester because I lost the game. I was stripped down of my ego --- the one thing I gripped the tightest. My once-dream became a history in just seconds.

I lost interest in Mathematics, embraced English. I turned my back on competition and challenges --- the things that made me proud. I unchained my heart from the burden of selfishness and pride.

I focused more on the things that made me happy. I found out that it’s more colorful on the outside! I never thought I’d get 1.0 in English (which I think I really don't deserve hehehe). I lead theses, emceed programs, represented classes and all the things I never thought I could and would do. And whoever thought I’d graduate at the age of 19?

Nah, too much pride and selfishness are flesh-eating bastards! LOL

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